The Art of Forgiving

What is something you dread doing? There are a lot of things that I hate doing... Such as washing vegetables, ironing (or wearing) pleated pants... But more than anything I'm currently struggling with forgiving.



Forgiving is one of the hardest things to do. Sometimes people will offend you, and not only do they fail to redeem themselves, but they further add insult to injury. They will tell you one thing, and then their actions will completely be opposite of what they said they were going to do (or not do). Or in trying to explain themselves, they say something that makes the situation even worse. How do we deal with this?

Lewis Smedes wrote a book called, "The Art of Forgiveness.". In an interview about his book, he noted the five things everyone should know about forgiveness:

1. Forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself: forgiving someone is the way to release you from the prison that that hurt puts you in, and doesn't give this person power over you anymore.

2. Forgivers are not doormats: forgiving someone doesn't mean you condone the behavior, or give the person permission to do it again.

3. Forgivers are not fools: once you've forgiven you are allowed to never return yourself back in the situation to get hurt again.

4. You don't have to wait until he says he's sorry: this is a big one for me... But sometimes you will never hear enough apologies from someone who's hurt you, and waiting for them to gives them power over you.

5. Forgiving is a journey: as in... It takes time. Call it impatience, but I would love to be able to forgive this person RIGHT now, but if I'm being realistic, I know I'm nowhere close to it... And maybe that's okay for now, so long as I'm working on it.

But why should we forgive? As I said earlier, one of the things I hate doing is washing vegetables. I don't know what about it I find so horrible, but for years I used to have to do it before dinner at my parents' house. Every single night I helped my mom cook dinner, and finally after nearly 20 years of washing vegetables, one day I protested to my dad. "I hate washing them!" My dad laughed and asked me then if I wanted to switch with Him and cook all of the meat (a much more difficult task)...



Why should we forgive? Firstly, because our Dad tells us to... But secondly, and more importantly, because He has already done the harder part, and paid the price to forgive us of OUR sins...

Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. [15] But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

The challenge: what haven't you forgiven? If it's something that will be a journey, then like mine, I pray God will give us both the strength to be able to get there.